IT is almost a year since I first began writing this column, so I think it's time I gave you an update on some of the resolved and unresolved issues in our household I've mentioned during the past months.

You may remember our living room rug dilemma of last October. Well that one's sorted out. We now have scagrass fitted wall to wall and jolly good it is too.

Not only does it look attractive, if you jump up and down on it in your bare feet it'll give you a reflexology massage.

As for the room's unfortunate colour scheme, which was the cause of a marital rift some time in January, the primrose walls have been repainted a soothing, unobjectionable shade of buttermilk to blend in with all our other buttermilk walls.

Last December and again in March I described our efforts to get our baby Eve to sleep through the night. I'm relieved to say that she now goes down at 7.30pm without a fuss and doesn't stir till nearly 7am.

As a result my husband and I have

managed a few more nights out and

several very pleasant nights in. We've had civilised dinner parties and have sometimes managed to stay awake until our guests leave.

So much for the successes. Now for the failures.

Our over-sized desk is still dominating our house, despite our various efforts to sell it for a reasonable price, shift it into the loft or hack it in two. It's been shunted around so much that it's probably worthless now, anyway.

Our ploy of throwing in a free electric carving knife (boxed, unused, unwanted wedding present) to make it more saleable didn't work either, although we're open to offers.

And we still haven't heard from any

of the men who were going to make

railings for our back garden in June.

It's only a small job. Was it something I said?

Our efforts to follow the Miami Vice Diet in recent weeks have also failed

dismally. I'm heavier now than before we began it, which supports the evidence that dieting makes you fat (as well as

stupid).

My husband has since devised his own weight-loss programme which involves eating nothing but fruit and steamed vegetables on alternate

days of the week. The rest of the time

he allows himself "normal" meals and beer and Pringles.

Whether or not it works, the Preston Park Stuff and Starve Diet could make

us a small fortune if we market it

properly.

Other matters which show no hope of being resolved include my mother's addiction to Bluewater, my husband's bad language when tackling DIY projects and any chance of my walking boots stretching to fit my feet.

To add to our worries the car's starter motor is close to packing up, my

computer's modem has stopped functioning and we're being plagued by

several rival companies offering to repair and repaint our exterior brickwork -

even though it was only done two years ago.

But I shouldn't grumble really.

Compared with many families, our stresses are light and our problems minor.

We have our health, a lovely daughter

and above all my husband's good sense of humour to be thankful for.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.