THERE are times when the English language fails us.
There are foreign words accepted in the English dialect to describe things for which there is no English translation. Schadenfreude, for example, is a German word used commonly over here to describe the pleasure derived from someone elses misfortune. Other words without a direct English translation include ‘mamihlapinatapei’, a word from the South American province of Tierra Del Fuego, which describes the action of “looking into someones eyes, each hoping the other will initiate what both want to do but neither chooses to commence” and ‘ilunga’, a Congolese word which means "a person who is ready to forgive any abuse for the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time".
The reason I tell you this is that Bayonetta has inspired a million different opinions in me, none of which quite agree with another. As such, I have struggled to come up with the right words to describe the chaos.
First things first, I love the way this game looks. It has style and flair that other games could only dream of, and Bayonetta herself is one of the most striking lead characters you’ll ever see. She really is incredible, despite her plummy accent. Visually, there are definite touches of Capcom, understandable seeing as the game is produced by an offshoot of the team who made Devil May Cry. The combat is explosive and great fun. There are so many combo’s here that those with the time and dedication will be rewarded richly for their efforts. There is a constant stream of giant, epic boss battles for you to enjoy and the chance to constantly upgrade and fine tune your combat skills makes for some spectacular fighting sequences.
Then, on the other side of things, is the loading screens. Unfortunately the frequency of them makes them more than a minor irritant. As gamers, we are used to games having to load, especially given the sheer size of code involved in creating todays masterpieces. But in Bayonetta it’s verging on taking the mickey. Every time you die you face around 50 seconds of loading screens, every time you collect an item you face 10 seconds of loading while it tells you what you’ve picked up, every time you go to a new level you face around 40 seconds of loading screens. It all gets a bit much. I don’t think I’ve played a game that ruins your flow quite as much as Bayonetta. Hack n’ slash games, by their very nature, rely on the player getting into the swing of things and racking up combos, but when you have to wait while the computer keeps up with what’s happening it makes for very broken gameplay.
The story is also nonsense. Bayonetta is basically a witch, and other than that I can’t tell you why she is doing what she does or how she ended up with all these power. Judging by the length of the cut scenes and the endless, pretentious dialogue, I think Bayonetta believes it is a lot cleverer than it actually is.
If you plan on buying only one game to last you for a few months, Bayonetta could be perfect for you. For someone willing to put in the time learning the combos to perfection, Bayonetta offers the opportunity to really lose yourself in its madness. The big question is if you can be bothered or not. Constant, and I mean constant, loading screens are so frustrating as to literally get in the way of progress, and the cut scenes are the longest and most baffling since Metal Gear Solid 4.
There is plenty of ‘mamihlapinatapei’ evident in Bayonetta. You look at it, willing it to be brilliant, and it eyes you back with promises of greatness that don’t materialise consistently enough. I also believe I was ‘ilunga’ with regards to the problem of loading screens. After a while it became too much though.
Rarely has a game provoked such polar opinions as Bayonetta. At times I could quite easily have said it was a 5/5 game, then something really, really annoying would happen. Because of this, I’d struggle to recommend it to anyone but the most hardened, dedicated gamer.
3/5